Just another ordinary post..Can't make heads or tail about this one

My worthless life slipped away as my beautiful wife sat silently beside my bed, tears streaming down her face, holding my left hand that was decorated by a five dollar ring she gave me on our wedding. It was all she could afford then but I always felt it was the most beautiful and precious ring ever because the love that came with it was priceless. I desperately tried to tell her not to cry, tried to let her know that I was beside her, reminded her that I am never gonna leave her, but my efforts were in vain, she could neither see me nor hear me. Then, my six year old daughter Amy rushed to my bed, hugging me with all her might, urging me to get up and have a look at her new dress. I tried to hug her and tell her that everything is gonna be alright, but I could not feel a thing. All of a sudden, my parents, friends and neighbors started running into our room and then the room was filled with cries. Unable to stand the commotion, I left my room and decided to head outside. Everything was the same apart from the fact that I would never be a part of this family again. The picture of me, my wife and Amy on Christmas Day still hung by the fireplace, my favorite chair still rocking beside the couch where my wife used to sit down and watched tv with Amy.
Outside it was a beautiful day, the sun was brighter than ever, seemed like another ordinary day but for me and my family, it will be a start of a new chapter, a life without a son, a husband and a father. I had no idea if life would be okay for them without me. I believe they will deal with it like anyone else.But what about me? Will i be fine without them? Does this mean that I am going to be alone from now on? Is there really a Heaven and Hell? If it is, where do I go, Heaven or Hell? Am I a good person when I was alive. I am sure that I was a decent human being for some, but would being good to a few people enough to get me a ticket to heaven?
Why does life has to end in the first place? Could there be a better place when you already are with the ones you love? Why can’t we all die together instead of having a headstart and leaving everyone else behind? The life I had was amazing so why would I want to go to another place. Can God not decide who dies and lives? In fact, would it be so hard for Him to make death disappear?

TRIBUTE to my PARENTS

If you fall, I won't worry cos' I know that you are strong, you will get back on your feet and never look back. If I fall, I won't have the strength to get back up, but I won't worry. I know you will come running and help me back on my feet, steadied me and lead me through a couple of rough terrains until you are convinced that I will be ok on my own. When you cry, I won't be around cos' I know you don't want me to see you cry, you will wipe your tears and put on a smile, then you will tell me what a great day you had, cos' that's what you always do when you wanna hide your tears. But when I cry, I know you'll always be around cos you know how much I needed a shoulder to cry on.

Whatever comes your way, you never complained because you always found a way to weather the darkest storm. I always have reasons to complain on almost everything, but you are never tired of telling me how to overcome the worst possible nightmares. You will give away everything you have for what I want, even if it is not enough to get me what I want, you'll still try for the next best thing. But I never seem to appreciate the sacrifices you have made, and threatened to walk away from you even when it's pretty clear that I would not survive a day without you. A normal human being would cut me off completely for being such an arrogant pain in the neck, instead you apologized and vowed to give me everything I wanna have.

When things did not go my way and all my so called greatest plans went down the tube, when all my friends labeled me a sore loser who would never succeed, you held my hands and told me how wrong my friends were and promised we prove them all wrong. Indeed, we proved them wrong. And how did I show my appreciation? By inviting my friends over for a celebration and asked you not to be around while they are there.

I never understand how you prepared to lose everything for me. I don't understand why you tried so hard to make me the person I am now. All the sacrifices you made, all the hardships you been through, all the great things you lose, all the wonderful friends you let go because of me, make me realise what a horrible person I have been. I know its impossible to make up for everything I've done, what's worse is I never even make an attempt to at least try and give back a few. But I never hear you complain. How could I be so blind not to see the greatest gifts that's been in front of me my whole life?

Now that I've grown up, and have children of my own. Each day is a lesson learnt. I'm beginning to understand why you tried so hard, why you always stood strong, sacrificed everything. I'm starting to see the reason for every effort you made. I may never forgive myself for not realising it for such a long time. But Mom, Dad, if my children grow up and understand my every reasons, then may be, just may be I'll forgive myself.

This sure take a long time, but MOM, DAD, I love You more than anything else.

Billionaire

Would I be happier if I am a billionaire? Would my life be better if I am richer? Would my life be more fun if I have enough dough to buy everything I want? Would I feel more powerful if everyone crawled by my feet cause they wanna make friends with me? Will i ever find true love with money when i know that I could score with the hottest chicks whenever I want? Would I ever have the pleasure of working with my wonderful colleagues if I am the POWER? Will I ever have the heart to understand when a poor beggar stands at my doorstep begging for alms?

This thoughts have circled around my head and until now the thought of being a billionaire has been a crazy, wild and wonderful. But I realised that if I actually become a billionaire, would I still be friends with the ones I already have, I know that these no money in the world can buy friends who are as wonderful as mine. Of course I would like to be a billionaire only if I can be friends with them for life.

My life would definitely better if I am rich, cause I woudn't have to worry bout how I am going to pay my bills anymore, I won't have to worry about so many things since money is the answer to almost everything. But how fun would it be when one can buy whatever the hell he wants. The satisfaction of buying what you want after working your ass off for a long time is priceless. And I definitely don't want people to crawl at my feet wanting to be my friends cos' I would never be able to tell which one is a true FRIEND.

It will be nice to score with the hottest girls once in a while, but I'm sure it will never give me the comfort that's given by true love. I'd chose the one I'm in love with over all the other girls any day cos she;s the one I'm dreaming of spending the rest of my life with and there if being a billionaire is going to spoil that dream, to hell with billionaires! I'd chose my girl a billion times over.

The bottom line is I'd really love to be a billionaire without losing what I have now!

This morning I woke up to find out that a friend of mine passed away. Not a good news to start the day. I found out later on that she was in an ICU for a couple of days. I really felt guilty that i didn't even know she was sick. She was a pretty young lady with a beautiful smile and full of life who despite her young age, faced loads of awful things that life had to offer, but she was strong enough to pull through everything that was thrown at her including a complete jerk who crashed her world upside down. Tho' I never got a chance to know her very well, I cud tell by seeing her face that she had her fair share of sorrow, but she always managed to turn that sorrow into laughter.

It made me wonder tho', how unpredictable life is!! Who would've imagined that a person with so much to look forward to and blessed with a big responsibility of her child would be in a grave so soon? I mean we all know that everyone's gonna face their death but sometimes, life seems a little unfair. But God knows best and I believe things happened for a purpose and that we must be wise enough to try and realise what he wants to tell us. My heart goes out to Lalrinzami and her family especially to her little child. May her Soul REST IN PEACE

WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

I wonder if i ever crossed your mind? You know its been ages since we talked. At first, I thought how hard cud it b livin without u! I was young then, with a whole load of things to look forward to. And I was pretty sure that I didn't need anyone to make me feel better and that I'm fine with meself. When U told me U wanted to be more than just a friend, I already knew that to me, you already were more than a friend. But I was dumb enough to tell you that I ain't lookin for a relationship. We were frens for such a long time and may be I was afraid that I might lose the best friend i ever had, I didn't realize that we cud be best friends forever.

Now I'm livin the life that I always dreamed of! With a decent job, lovely wife and kids, If if isn't for you I wud've proudly say that My life's perfect. Its just so freakin hard to let go of you. True, i hurt you., laughed at you., but I never meant what I did to you. May be its just that U were so amazing, made me think that whatever I do, It won't matter and that You'd always have in your heart, a reason to forgive me. It did look like that for the first five years, didn't it? You always forgave me. Its true I took you for granted and had I realized that, things might be different. I feel so guilty rite now. I have such a wonderful family and I don't wanna be the one who tore this family apart, I love me kids and wife a lot. But why is it that I cant stop thinking about you even after a decade?

How have you been? Is life been good to you? What have you been doin all these years? I'm sure you'll be married now and that you probably forget all about me which I believe is the truth, Why would you remember a jerk like me, rite? Whatever we are rite now is what I want us to be but If I'm given a chance, I'd do anything to see you again, look straight into your eyes and tell you that I've been loving you all along. That's all I wanna do. They said that the greatest mistake made by most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much the love them, while they're still alive! And i don't wanna end up making the biggest ever.

Pls I need to tell you that I Love You